Creating Happiness

Creating Happiness And A Happy Life

The Creating Happiness Blogs lists things you can do right now to be happier - see  Creating-Happiness.com for an index.  If you have a yellow Creating Happiness card, look up you quote here.

Your Happiness Program

You may be wondering, What can I do to be happy RIGHT NOW given the challenges I face? 

How can I create a happy life? 

You'll find solutions here.  Browse through the sections below, explore the Creating-Happiness Index.  Find a few key Happiness Habits you like, decide to embrace and practice immediately.

Perhaps you'll decide to Choose Your Mood And Attitudes, Fuel Your Life And Your Work With Fun and to Savor, Enjoy And Appreciate All The Wonderful Things Around You.

If you are suffering in the bad economy, see Happiness In Hard Times.

Creating happiness is a two step process:  Simply do more things that add Happiness and Spiritual Success to your life and Avoid Misery Makers.

Misery Is Meant To Make Us Move and change to end the misery.  What are common misery makers?

Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods and Avoid All UnNecessary, NonProductive Negativity are two simple steps that limit or eliminate misery.

There are many other simple ways to create happiness and a happy life below. Explore The Happiness Blog and the Happiness Habit web sites.

How Do We Know? 

Happiness Habit interviewed and studied habitually happy, genuinely joyous people from all different walks of life and life situations. Many of them faced daunting personal challenges:  job losses, terminal illnesses, physical debilitation and major life losses but they still managed to meet each day joyfully, to enjoy life and be happy.

We found these habitually happy people had a distinctive way of looking at the world fuels their ever present happiness and protects them from stress and distress - we call these key skills Happiness Habits.

Our Mission is to share these happiness creating qualities with simple, easy to absorb and apply sayings like your grandmother may have used.

Wishing you great happiness and spiritual success,

Michele Moore and the
Happiness Habit Team

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Make The Most Of Each Moment

Each moment of our lives offers amazing opportunities to enjoy, appreciate, achieve, create and explore interesting thoughts and ideas - if we use our time and attention wisely.

We can use this precious series of moments to enrich our well-being, create happiness and spiritual success...

Or we can squander our time, do the exact opposite and manufacture misery, hate, anger, distress and despair.

When we cherish time, our lives and these incredible opportunities we want to make the most of each moment.

Focusing time and attention wisely on positive thoughts, actions and objectives that build happiness and spiritual success is a central, key organizing concept of the Happiness Habit.

We know Thoughts Have Consequences, because Our Focus of Attention Determines Our Feelings and Whatever We Focus on Expands in our minds. Remembering Our Time And Attention Are Limited and Urgency Creates Energy, Determination, Decisiveness and Focus.

Each time you look at a clock, your watch or think about time, ask yourself, "What's the best use of my time and attention right now? (This is a variant of Alan Lakein's classic line, "What's the best use of my time right now?")

Time spent unhappy unnecessarily is wasted time.

Continually trying to get the most joy from our moments and using time to enjoy, appreciate and achieve are powerful ways to create happiness and a happy life!

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Negative Judgments Propel Pain

Negative Judgments fuel all fear, anger, anxiety and anguish.

Negative statements like: I'm so stupid!  I can't do it!  This is too hard!  I will never survive! cause much of our emotional pain.

The secret to dealing with Negative Judgments well is to ask, "Can this negative judgment help me in some way?"

If the answer is YES, turn the Negative Judgment into a series of positive action items that will help you to succeed and be happy.

If the answer is NO, the Negative Judgment can NOT help you, reject it and redirect your time, energy and attention to thoughts, actions and objectives that help you build happiness and spiritual success.

The example we often use is: "I'm going to be late!" is a negative judgment that produces anxiety. It can help you if you turn it into a series of positive action items:  "It's 7:30 now, I need to watch the clock carefully, collect my things, make sure I don't leave anything behind so I can walk out the door by ten of eight."  See how it works?

Other negative statements prompt you to ask, "What can I do to build confidence, gain competence, get help and learn new skills?"

If the negative judgment is just running you down and can't help you in any way, reject it! It's making you miserable for no reason. 

Minimizing misery and building happiness and spiritual success is a key to creating a happy life!

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Misery Is Meant To Make Us Move

Misery is uncomfortable and unpleasant for good reasons - Misery is meant to make us move and change to end the misery.

We Make A Lot Of Our Own Misery - Misery isn't just something that "happens" to us.  We create a lot of our own misery ourselves by what we do, how we think and the feelings we habitually hold.

We are not meant to stay stuck in a bad situation, we are meant to make changes to stop our pain.

What can we change?  We can change our thoughts, our actions, our feelings or we can change a combination of all three.

Change Actions - Sometimes we need to change what we are doing. We may be engaging in dangerous, dysfunctional or disrespectful behavior that is damaging our health, well-being or infuriating others.  We can end our misery by changing our actions.

Change Thoughts - We may be creating our own horror shows by giving excessive time and attention to unnecessary, non-productive negativity, problems and dramas.  We feel much better when we stop dwelling in difficulties and focus attention on positive activities, objectives and opportunities.

Change Feelings - Bad experiences can create anger, anxiety or avoidance toward otherwise positive options and opportunities.  Past pain prompts us to react in negative, irrational or counter productive ways.  When we recognize and see the real sources of our warped feelings, we can decide not to be dominated and directed by them in the future.

Outside Events and Other People - We often blame outside sources for our misery.  There is no question that devastating events and difficult people can cause great emotional pain.  Part of the challenge of dealing with the successfully is to decide that you are not going to help them hurt you.

Revolt and Rebel against giving them control of your thoughts, actions and feelings.  Say to yourself, "I am not giving you control of my feelings.  I am not going to help you hurt me."  It will hurt a lot less and you will bounce back more quickly and easily.

This does not mean revolt against the situation itself, which may not be a wise idea.  We often have to smile and nod nicely to survive and thrive. 

It does mean protecting yourself from unnecessary or protracted emotional pain and wrapping yourself in a big warm hug whenever you need it.

Minimizing misery is a key to creating happiness and a happy life!

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Move From Problems To Solutions Quickly

Problems are an inevitable part of life, they are also the primary source of our emotional pain.

A key to creating happiness and a happy life is to move from problems to positive solutions quickly.

So long as we focus our time and attention on problems, what's wrong and how terrible it is, we continue to feel anxious, distressed, angry or sad.

When we focus on possible positive solutions we feel much better.

Positive solutions allow us to resolve difficulties, achieve valued goals,  build new skills and prepare for future successes.

This is an illustration of The First Law of Happiness - Our Focus Determines Our Feelings. Focusing on bad things makes us feel sad, angry or anxious.

When we turn our attention toward good things we feel much better - energized, empowered and enthusiastic.

Beware: Problems are sometimes very hard to let go of because they are powerful sources of energy, albeit negative energy, for us.  Problems easily become our own internal horror shows.  The more we think about them, the larger, more overwhelming and frightening they become.

This is an illustration of the Second Fundamental Happiness Fact - Whatever We Focus On Expands In Our Consciousness.  Whatever we give time and attention to grows in our reality.

There is a very important difference between worrying about problems and solving them.

The best solutions often lie outside of the problem's parameters.  So long as we continue to stare at problems we often can't see those successful solutions.

That's why it is so important to detach from problems and start seeking successful solutions quickly.

Moving from problems to possible successful solutions quickly is a key to happiness and spiritual success. When we solve problems, we salve the problem's pain.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Practice Being YOUR Best

Visualizing yourself performing YOUR best and doing well is energizing, empowering, encouraging and inspiring. 

It provides clear, compelling images of person you want to be, what you want to achieve and how you want to approach life.

To Create Happiness Practice Being YOUR Best

When you continually try to Do YOUR Best, Be YOUR Best and Feel YOUR Best, you make YOUR Best effort and raise the probability you will achieve the Best possible results.

The key is to focus on YOUR Best and Not someone else's Best.  Learn from others, especially star performers, but avoid critical, self depreciating comparisons that corrode confidence.

You will never perform well or feel good if you focus on failure, how badly you feel or how poorly you think you are doing.  Recognize and reject stinking thinking. 

Focus on what you want to achieve, energize and encourage yourself to attain it.

Practice Being YOUR Best - Continually try to Do YOUR Best, Feel YOUR Best and Be At Your Best all of the time.  You will feel good, perform well and YOUR Best will continue to get better.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What is the best I can do?  (Given my resources, competing goals, constraints and limitations.)

• Is there a better way I can do it?

• How would this be achieved by an expert?       

• How can I enhance my enjoyment, experiences and expand my ability to excel and do well?

When you try to do your best, you can let go of results knowing you couldn't have done any more - you did YOUR Best. 

If you have had a mediocre day when you didn't try very hard and you didn't get very good results you know the danger of lackluster efforts.

Focusing on doing YOUR Best and being YOUR Best helps you to feel YOUR Best.

Practice Being YOUR Best All Of The Time. It's a great way to create a happy life and get the best possible results!

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Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Choose Your Mood And Attitude

Imagine being able to feel great any time, in any place, even all the time.

Wouldn't that be wonderful? 

You can do it right now if you decide to choose your moods and attitudes and intentionally embrace emotions that help you to be happy.

You don't have to look outside of yourself to find things or people to lift your spirits,  you can find happiness within yourself right now, at any time, in any place. The process is simple and gets easier and more powerful with practice.

Take a moment, detach from what you are doing smile, giggle and wiggle your toes. Take a long slow deep breath and fill your lungs as full of air as you comfortably can, relax and let the air flow effortlessly out. Smile, giggle, wiggle your toes and do it again.

Take another long slow deep breath, fill your lungs as full of air, relax and let the air flow out effortlessly.  Smile, giggle and wiggle your toes.

Now continuing to breath slowly and deeply, picture yourself smiling and giggling, like you are looking at yourself in a mirror. Do you see yourself smiling, laughing and giggling?

If you are doing this right you should be genuinely laughing and smiling yourself because most people can't picture or see themselves laughing without laughing too.

Now think of a time when you felt absolutely wonderful for no reason at all. Do you remember a day when you felt marvelous for no good reason? Remember that time in vivid detail. Recall how wonderful you felt, remember those feelings vibrantly, deeply and acutely.

Consciously connect with those wonderful feelings, embrace them, feel them deeply and completely. Now consciously project those marvelous feelings. Radiate them all around you.

Take a couple more long, slow deep breaths, relax and exhale. Smile and wiggle your toes.

Continue to consciously take on those wonderful feelings. Embrace them, feel them, make them your own and then project them.  You will feel much better!

So long as you recall those marvelous feelings, embrace them and make them your own you will feel good. Use this process along with a spirit of Revolt And Rebellion to break away from bad emotions, to restore your well-being and to prepare to move forward positively and enthusiastically.

Resolve not to let bad things or difficult people hurt you or control your feelings.  Will you ever feel 100% as good as you did on that special day?  No, but you will feel much better and that's what is important.

Choose Your Mood And Your Attitude To Feel Good, Happy And Successful At Any Time, In Any Place.

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Fuel Your Life And Work With Fun

We Are Truly At Our Best And Able To Perform Our Best When We Are Enjoying Ourselves - When We Are UP, Confident, Energized And Happy!

Why Not Try To Enjoy Yourself And Have Fun All Of The Time?

Why Not Fuel Your Life And Work With Fun?

It's the best way to happy, productive and successful.

Quick Quiz - This is Fast, Easy and Enjoyable!!!

Quickly list all of the words that describe how you feel when you are having fun and a good time.  For example:

When I am Having Fun I Feel:  Energized, Enthusiastic, Empowered, Energetic, Optimistic, Confident, Competent, Caring, Considerate, Powerful,  Attractive, Appealing, Loving, Exuberant, Ebullient, Happy.

I Communicate Well, I Concentrate Well, I Excel At What I Do.

Why Would You Want To Feel Any Other Way?

A key to happiness is figuring out how to enjoy and have fun doing all the things you have to do.

It's A  Simple Two Step Process: 1) Decide What You Have To Do And  2) Find Ways To Make It Fun, Enjoyable, Meaningful And Rewarding

Creatively reinvent chores to make them challenging and interesting.  Wrap your work in love, decide to have a good time all of the time you work.

Don't sabotage your happiness and productivity by actively disliking or dreading what you have to do. Align your attitudes to support your goals and aspirations.

Manage your attitudes just as carefully as your actions, your emotions as carefully as your motions.

The enthusiasm, energy and determination to complete tasks well are just as important as developing good plans.

Figure Out What You Have To Do And Find Ways To Enjoy It -
Fuel Your Life And Your Work With Fun!

Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com

Don't Beat Yourself Up!

Beating Yourself Up
Reinforces Errors You Want To Avoid

Channel anger and anguish over errors toward strengthening skills that will help you to succeed and be happy in the future. 

Use Mistakes And Errors To
Enhance And Improve Future Performance

Beating yourself up, criticizing or condemning yourself burns mistakes into memory with lots of negative energy. 

It demoralizes and distracts you from correcting the error and developing skills that will help you to be more successful. 

You are not spending time practicing and perfecting skills that will help you avoid the same problem in the future.

Why Do We Beat Ourselves Up?

When we are little, adults punish us to protect us from wrongdoing. It's a simple, Pavlovian response:
Punishment Causes Pain and Pain Prompts Avoidance

Some of us mistakenly turn this process against ourselves.  It doesn't work, here's why...

If we run into a busy street without looking we may get whacked on the bottom to stop us from doing it again, getting hit by a car and hurt.

If we repeatedly run into the street without looking, we may get whacked again and again and develop a fear or aversion for busy streets, but this doesn't solve the real problem.

We need to learn to recognize there's danger, stop and carefully look both ways before we cross a busy street. That's a successful skill we want to make a habit as adults. 

Beating yourself up does NOT improve performance.  It creates avoidance and anxiety, it does not identify and strengthen skills that will help you to be safe and happy in the future.

Six Causes of Mistakes

There are six general causes of mistakes.  Which of these will be helped by beating ourselves up?

1. We Don't Know What To Do - This is a training or educational gap that is solved by learning successful skills and responses.
    
2. We Know What To Do But We Don't Apply It - This is also a training gap where we need to learn how to apply what we already know and do well to new situations.
     
   
3. We Know What To Do But We Don't Follow Through - This is either a motivation or a priorities problem, the two are often closely related.  If we don't value something, we don't make it a priority and we are not motivated to address it energetically.
      
   The key is to strengthen our motivation by emphasizing the dangers of dereliction and the benefits of excelling and doing well.
         
4. Errors of Judgment - Often involve failing to assess reality accurately or failing to identify and deal with real dangers and difficulties effectively.  Judgment, wisdom and decision making abilities need to be strengthened and enhanced.
         
5. Lapses of Concentration or Attention - Are often caused by distractions, fatigue or a drop in motivation.  Reemphasizing the importance of careful attention and redoubling our determination to excel and do well helps address these lapses.
      
6. Circumstances Beyond Our Control - Cause the error. Learning to anticipate and protect ourselves from similar situations helps reduce chances of repeating the errors in the future.

Which of these are helped by beating ourselves up?  None of them!

Don't Beat Yourself Up!  Use Mistakes To Improve Performance And Prevent Future Errors

Redirect Anger and Anguish Toward Building Skills That Will Help You To Be Happy And Successful

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Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors.

Drive Discipline With Desire

The secret to successful self discipline is to desire something positive more than what tempts you. 

Drive Self Discipline With Desire For Something Much Better

If you are on a diet, do you really want to trade a few moments of sweetness for hours or even days of misery and disappointment from eating things that make you feel bad?

Never get into an argument or even a discussion with a chocolate cupcake!

1. Immediately Recognize that chocolate cupcake for what it is - a temporary temptation that provides a short, fast feel good and then makes you miserable for a long time.
2. Rapidly Reject chocolate cupcake temptations and
3. Immediately Redirect your attention toward positive goals and ambitions.
4. Revel In Doing Well and Rehearse how to deal with these temptations.
5. Reward Yourself to Reinforce Your Resolve to avoid similar future temptations - give yourself a big congratulatory hug, admire your strength, do something positive to reinforce your resolve.

Practice walking past the candy or snack foods sections in grocery stores thinking about all those empty calories and that awful sugar, fat and carbohydrate that will hurt your health and make you gain weight.

Rehearse and Reinforce Rejection of Wrongs!

Self discipline is essential to happiness.

Drive Your Self Discipline With Desire For Happiness, Good Health And Spiritual Success!

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Copyright 1999- , Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Explore HappinessHabit.com and HappinessBlog.com. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without written permission from the authors. Photograph from Dreamstime.com